Musings :: Tokio Hotel: The "Future of Music"?

This was posted to Idolator this morning under the headline "The Future of Music, Whether You Like It Or Not."

The indierocket! response: Jesus. Fucking. Christ. It's as if someone invented a machine that took the characters from Rock Band — complete and utter lack of charisma and all — and made them real. Then made them start a band. A shitty, dishwater-grey mallternative band.

Seriously. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this. Nothing.

If this is the "future of music," as Idolator posits, then Doc Brown and I need to get back to work on that Delorean.

Musings :: Twelve-Year-Old Throws Rocks at Kill Soulja Boy

This makes me giggle:

"BLOOMINGTON -- A 12-year-old boy was arrested and accused of throwing a rock through a hip-hop performer’s tour bus windshield Thursday night, police said.

Bloomington Police Lt. Pete Avery said the boy told officers, “I hate Soulja Boy.”

I believe the children are our future.

Musings :: Bill Cosby to Release Rap Record

You SEE, THEEE-oh, the HIP-HOP is a moral sewer, you see, with the suggestive dancing with hippin' and hoppin' and bippin' and boppin'. You see, we had the jazz MU-sic back in my day, THEEE-oh, we didn't have the dope-pusherrrrrs and the soldier boys with their crankin' and their supermen. Why don't you get yourself some JELL-O pud-ding with the flavors and the chocolate and tastes so good in your mouth and tongue, you see. ROOOO-DEEEE!!!

Bill Cosby Working on Rap Album [via allhiphop.com]
House of Cosbys [via Channel 101]

Musings :: Death Cab for Cutie Name New Album

Ben Gibbard: "Narrow Stairs — now that is an exciting title! Huh. That's funny. I can't feel my pulse. Shouldn't I have a pulse? Could this have something to do with the bland, watered-down tripe I've been releasing since We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes?"
Chris Walla: "No. You're fine. Now let me get back to my solo record."

Death Cab for Cutie Name New Album [via deathcabforcutie.com]

Musings :: Decoding Soulja Boy

"Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)"
Soulja Boy

Soulja boy off in this hoe / Watch me crank it, watch me roll / Watch me crank dat soulja boy1 / Then Superman dat ho2 / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy)

1. Crank dat Soulja Boy: Verb. 1. Masturbating an erect penis.
2. Superman that ho: Verb. 1. The act of ejaculating on your sexual partner's back and then stick the sheets to him/her; when she wakes up in the morning he/she has a cape.

Soulja boy off in this hoe /Watch me lean and watch me rock / Superman dat hoe / Then watch me crank dat robocop1 / Super fresh now watch me jock / Jocking2 on them haterz, man / When I do dat soulja boy / I lean to the left and crank dat dance (now you) / I'm jocking2 on yo bitch ass / And if we get the fightin, then I'm jockin2 on yo bitch ass / You catch me at yo local party / Yes I crank it3 everyday / Haterz get mad cuz / I got me some bathin' apes4

1.: Robocop: Verb. 1. The act of ejaculating semen into a bucket and then placing it on your partners' head.
2.: Jock: Verb (Intrans.). 1. To attempt to imitate one's particular style. 2. To engage in flirtatious behavior.
3. : Crank it: Verb. 1. Turn up music to an unreasonable volume. 2. Masturbate.
4. : Bathin' Apes: Noun. 1. A ghetto shoe and clothing company originated from Japan.

I'm bouncin on my toe1 / Watch me supersoak dat hoe2 / I'ma pass it to arab3 / Then he gon pass it to the low (low)/ Haterz wanna be me / Soulja boy, I'm the man / They be lookin at my neck / Sayin it's the rubberband man4 (man)

1.: Bounce on my toe: Verb. 1. To attempt to keep one's balance while masturbating.
2.: Supersoak: Verb. 1. To completely cover one's sexual partner with semen.
3.: Arab: Noun. 1. Here, a Soulja Boy collaborator.
4.: Rubberband Man: Noun. 1. A drug dealer. 2. One who is able to perform fellatio on oneself.

Watch me do it (watch me do it) / Dance (dance) / Let get to it (let get to it) / Nope, you can't do it like me / Hoe, so dont do it like me / Folk, I see you tryna do it like me / Man, that shit was ugly

Soulja boy off in this hoe / Watch me crank it, watch me roll / Watch me crank dat soulja boy /Then Superman dat hoe
Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy)

I'm to clean off this hoe / Watch me crank it, watch me roll / Watch me crank dat roosavelt1 and supersoak dat hoe (x10)

1. Crank that Roosevelt: Verb. 1. Perform a typical lean-and-rock dance that involves swinging your hand over your lower stomach while thrusting your pelvis and legs forward in one swift motion. 2. To fornicate.

I'm to fresh up in this bitch / Watch me shuffle, watch me jig / Watch me crank my shoulder work / Superman that bitch

Soulja boy off in this hoe / Watch me crank it, watch me roll / Watch me crank dat soulja boy /Then Superman dat hoe
Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy) / Now watch me do (crank dat soulja boy)

Summation: No matter what it's about, "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" blows.

Musings :: Riding the Train

Chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka! Why the hell has this song been in my head all day? Perhaps because it's not just any train — it's a choo-choo train.

Musings :: Superdrag

I've been feeling Nineties-nostalgic these days. Perhaps its the upcoming Smashing Pumpkins gig in Columbia, despite my bitter disappointment with the new record. (Read all about it here.) Perhaps it was the recent WUSC Nineties-themed fundraiser weekend, which reminded me why I loved the Nineties (I heard some of my long-forgotten favorite jams from The Presidents of the United States of America, The Drop Nineteens and a slew of one-hit wonders) and simultaneously hated the Nineties (middle school notwithstanding, a lot of Nineties non-college radio sucked massive dong). Imagine my delight, then, when I tripped over a Daytrotter session featuring one of my all-time favorite Nineties bands, Superdrag.

(Quick aside: To those of you who don't peruse Daytrotter on at least an occasional basis, shame on you. You're missing out.)

My introduction to the totally underrated Knoxville quartet — helmed by John Davis and featuring a rotating ensemble of players, including Mic Harrison, during the band's tenure — was Headtrip in Every Key, the follow-up to the band's other magnum-opus Nineties classic, Regretfully Yours. While the latter featured the MTV Buzz Bin — hey, remember that? — single "Sucked Out" and the anthem "Cynicality," Headtrip in Every Key was the stronger record from top to bottom, filled with everything that appealed to my suburban-white-teenness — well-crafted songs about boredoms, drugs and vampires; acerbic guitars and laconic vocals; and a psuedo-concept-album fell that was well suited to soundtracking listless driving and other teenage-riot miscellany. It didn't start a revolution like Nevermind and it wasn't trying to change the world like Siamese Dream; Headtrip is simply a five-star, A-plus powerpop record. No more, no less. Its beauty lies in its simplicity, but also in its inherent complexity — it's beautifully recorded and masterfully produced, leaving many hidden sonic treasures and sly musical jokes waiting for the attentive listener.

The 'drag (as I'm sure nobody called them) split up in 2002 after the release of Last Call for Vitriol, during the recording of which Davis apparently found Christ. Thankfully, he won't be stuffing the New Testament down our throats, telling I Am Fuel, You Are Friends that "'Christian' anything really is an irrelevant way to approach the Gospel anyway because it is not mean to be under glass." (Note: The I Am Fuel interview also contains several links to Superdrag songs, including covers of "Bastards of Young," "Motor Away" and "Wave of Mutilation.")

"Sold You an Alibi" was (and is) my jam from Headtrip, and Superdrag performed a spirited version of the song on its Daytrotter session (linked below), which came during the middle of its own reunion tour. Huh ... first The Pixies, then the Pumpkins, now Superdrag? Bring back The Presidents and I'll truly feel like I'm in the ninth grade again.

Superdrag: "Sold You an Alibi" (Daytrotter session) (via Daytrotter)

Musings :: Dave Mustaine: Republican?

As much as your indierocketeers hate regurgitating other blogs' content, this was far too funny to pass up. Idolator linked this morning to a United Nations Dispatch article critiquing — and using more than 1,800 words to do so — Megadeth's "United Abominations." There are plenty of choice passages in critic Mark Leon Goldberg's work — we share Idolator's favorite: "At this point, you can hear French spoken in the background. The only thing I could decifer was, "Nous besoin d'ordre mondial," meaning, "We need global order." This apparently upsets Mustaine, because he launches into a monster guitar solo! " — and Goldberg does a fine job of trashing Mustaine's fact errors and lyrical absurdities. (Not to mention Mustaine's apparent belief in and references to pre-millenialist Christian mythology, his apparent confusion of Hamas and Hezbollah and his complete misunderstanding of what the United Nations, you know, does.)

But can Goldberg pull off the solo in "Hangar 18?" Somehow, I doubt it.

Critic Watch: Megadeth Smackdown Edition [UN Dispatch, via Idolator]

Musings :: On Shellac and allmusic.com

allmusic.com is a great resource for writers, bloggers and music junkies alike. But one of its most puzzling sections is its "themes" junket in album reviews, and it's most startling in its vague and often misapplied themes. Case in point: On the page containing Mark Deming's review for Shellac's Excellent Italian Greyhound — which is, in a word, excellent — the themes listed are as follows:

• Party Time
• Playful
• Mischievous
• Hanging Out

Not exactly what comes to mind when you think of Shellac, is it?

Now, allmusic mostly (if not always) makes up for the egregious "themes" with its "moods" meme. (Among Shellac's moods: "Bitter," "Cynical/Sarcastic," "Fiery" (which, confusingly, is listed next to "Restrained"), "Acerbic" and "Volatile.") But how any one of these moods translates into themes of "Party Time" or "Hanging Out" is beyond me.

It makes me wonder if this is an elaborate joked perpetrated by Albini; and, if it isn't, if he sees any humor in it. I'd like to think so.

Musings :: Huh?

So I didn't know about this neat little feature on iTunes where if you're on a shared network with other computers, you can see and listen to other users' libraries. I discovered this while sitting at a local coffee shop this evening. A shared library popped up on my iTunes, and I scrolled through. It was full of stuff that every girl I ever dated in high school listened to. Tori Amos, Indigo Girls, and every damn thing that Ani Difranco ever recorded - including bootlegs of live shows. Since I was sitting at a college coffee house, I looked around the room at all the hipster girls, but none of them had a laptop. I forgot about the whole thing until this guy sitting across from me closed his laptop and, instantly, the shared library disappeared. I was highly amused.